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 Rumour and Longtooth's reunion

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What did you like about this story?
I liked the use of words
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I liked how the story was written
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I liked the storyline
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It could use some work
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Total Votes : 5
 

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Scarikas

Scarikas


Number of posts : 47
Registration date : 2010-08-31

Rumour and Longtooth's reunion Empty
PostSubject: Rumour and Longtooth's reunion   Rumour and Longtooth's reunion Icon_minitime04/03/12, 02:44 am

(Read story before seeing description to avoid being spoiler'd)
Description:
Spoiler:




-----------Rumour tore away at the suculent flesh of a plump moose. Moose meat was the favorite among the orange pack. The clouds boomed together, predicting rain in the plains. It had been a cold winter, but Rumour now expected it to thunder or rain. It was sunset, the blanket of clouds was pitched with an orange hue at the edge of the horizon and the shadows of trees and her packmates stretched out like dripping ink on paper. The dry grass twitched in the cold winter winds, and as Rumour stepped away from the moose carcass her deputy, Sunspot, stepped forward and grabbed a muscley piece of flesh and tore it off, beginning to eat as she dropped it onto the ground. As the sun sunk beneath the flat horizon of the plains, darkness seaped into the world and Rumour's mate, Muzzlelad, let out a long, loud howl. Despite the flatness of the plains, it echoed like a song. All of her pack was here. Sunspot, Muzzlelad, Her, Promise, her grown pup, and...

-----------Rumour sniffed the air. The son of her first litter, who was grown as well, wasn't with the pack as they laid down on the dead grass. Rumour herself let out an ear-splitting howl, her packmates perking their ears and lifting their heads to look at her. She dismissed them to lay down again with a curt nod, and in the distance a familiar howl sounded. It sounded different to that of her son, but Rumour knew that if any wolf was in her territory it had to be her son... Who was also the omega.
Rumour started to sprint, but her mate, Muzzlelad, stepped in front of her.
-----------What is it now? she thought. Muzzlelad gestured back to her packmates, who were falling asleep, as if encouraging her not to go find her omega son. She shook her head, all because their son was an omega didn't mean he deserved to sleep alone.
Rumour tried to read Muzzlelad's expression, and detected fear and cowardice in his eyes. He yanked his gaze away from hers, and stalked passed her and glomped down next to Sunspot, the brown and furry dark grey pelts blurring together in the nightly darkness. What is he thinking? Rumour thought.

-----------Rumour broke into the distance, hurtling passed the trees at great speed. She leaped over a lump, and behind her the wind rushed into it, indicating her pack den. As she ran on, a brown sleeping shape came into view. Rumour was confused, expecting it was reflecting the last rays of sunlight, since her son's coat was light grey, but as she got closer it revealed an unfamiliar bright-red color that she had not seen for a very large amount of moons.

-----------"Longtooth?!" Rumour growled in disbelief. The shape lifted his head, and as Rumour got closer she stopped in her tracks and stared into his emerald gaze, captivated.
As if the rain was on her side, an earsplitting strike of lightning thundered and before she knew it the land was being bucketed with blue drops of rain.
-----------Rumour shook her mind free, and rounded on him,
-----------"What are you doing here, Longtooth? If any of my pack sees you here I'll get-"
-----------"Exhiled?" Longtooth said coldly, his emerald gaze turning into ice as he got to his feet and approached her.
-----------"Like I did when you lied to your pack about me getting killed?" he snarled. Rumour turned her head away as he took a final step towards her, standing no more than half a wolf-length from her.
Rumour pushed him away.
-----------"You know that you could never stay after what I did." she grumbled. She tried to keep her voice clear, but she couldn't help keeping the shaky stutters of sadness and regret out of it.
-----------"Yes, that horrible thing you did," Longtooth said.
-----------"When you lied to me about how you felt when you actually loved that stupid beta, Muzzlelad, and how you nearly tore my throat open weakening me so he could take my place. When you twisted my foot permanently and chased me off!" Longtooth glared into Rumour's icey gaze.
-----------"and told me never to come back." he finished.
-----------"Of which you never should have done," Rumour added, snarling. She sliced his muzzle open. Longtooth let out a ear-splitting yelp and backed up with his tail in between his legs, his twisted foot shaking in effort to stand.
-----------"I still love you, Rumour," Longtooth argued, backing up more as Rumour got closer, her lip curled back in a snarl.
-----------"We could have had strong pups instead of that grey omega flea-bitten fool I see standing out here on the edge of our territory. I know you still have feelings for me, Rumour, instead of that worthless scrap Muzzlelad. I could've killed him if you hadn't interfered."
-----------Rumour flared up with anger, and tore his muzzle the other way, creating an X-shaped wound.
-----------"I never loved you, Longtooth!" Rumour roared, her throat vibrating to make her spit with a monstrous yowl. Longtooth stepped back, his eyes wide and his muzzle open in disbelief.
-----------"I was in love with Muzzlelad ever since I was a subordinate, and Sunspot never had any interest in him or you," Rumour continued, backing Longtooth into a rock, forcing him into a sitting position with the back of his red-furred neck pressed against the wet stone in fear. Rumour stomped her forepaw in between both of his paws, her long claws digging into the ground, her teeth bared and her hot breath plain to see in the cold air pressing against Longtooth's terrified face. Rumour rose up, letting out a vicious howl, and pummeled her forepaws around Longtooth's torso and bowled him onto the ground, pinning him with her hind-paws and ripping into the bottom of his muzzle. Longtooth immediately let out a yelp of absolute fear and inferno, and kicked Rumour's stomach wildly with his hind legs, but Rumour's fury drove her forward, and before she knew it she was biting down into Longtooth's neck. Longtooth wriggled sideways, then the other way, and Rumour dug her forepaws into his chest to let herself lunge backwards off of him in a splatter of blood and spit, then the drops of scarlet rained onto the ground as well as the drops of pouring water. Longtooth scrambled to his feet, and lept off in the oposite direction of the territory, but stopped before reaching the final scent mark. He turned around, staring at Rumour with large eyes, his bottom jaw dripping with scarlet blood.
-----------"I love you." He said. Right as that came, Rumour recognized slitted yellow eyes staring at him from the shadow of a tree, and after Longtooth closed his jaws and looked away a streak of light grey pelted into him, knocking the breath out of him with a whimpery yelp and pummeling him into the ground, crushing his twisted foot beneath his weight. Longtooth yowled, limping off at the greatest speed that he could, and the attacker looked around and smiled at his mother.
-----------"Thank you." Miracle's young, handsome and juvenille voice rang like a bell and Rumour was overfilled with joy and gratitude, she smiled back, but then drops of confusion rained on her like the drops of water.
-----------"Thank you for what?" She asked.
-----------"For falling in love with Muzzlelad," he grinned.
-----------"Who would want to be the son of that creep?" Miracle joked, his long tail gesturing to the path Longtooth had ran to, his dark shape long gone over the hills of the plains.
-----------"That grey omega flea-bitten fool," Miracle imitated in the most whiney voice possible. Rumour couldn't do anything but laugh with him, and just as she did the clouds started parting to reveal a beautiful starry sky, the half-moon floating just above.
-----------"Come on," Rumour started, opening her eyes and staring at Miracle with a warm, welcoming gaze as he did too.
-----------"You shouldn't be so far out here, and not sleeping with your family." Rumour looked back at the direction she had left to come find her son.
-----------"Let's go, there's only so much night left to spend with your loving packmates, who will love you even more when you become Alpha one day." She bounded over to him and licked the young wolf between his ears, and he followed her back to the pack through the wet plains, the starry sky glittering above.
-----------Another four seasons to forget about that jerk. Rumour thought, referring to Longtooth, and sighed, but as if he had read her thoughts, her small son lifted Rumour's head up with his own, and smiled at her as they walked back to their sleeping pack.
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Centurus

Centurus


Number of posts : 6
Registration date : 2012-04-09

Rumour and Longtooth's reunion Empty
PostSubject: cool!   Rumour and Longtooth's reunion Icon_minitime10/04/12, 09:33 pm

wow thats a good story Razz
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